


First Class Time

by MizKTakase



Series: Tales of the Bizarre - Collection 1 (Oct. 2013-Oct. 2015) [25]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Airplanes, Alternate Universe - Robots & Androids, Comedy, Thriller
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-25
Updated: 2017-10-25
Packaged: 2019-01-22 08:18:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12477288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MizKTakase/pseuds/MizKTakase
Summary: Presented in Mugiwara Theater (as the Strawhat Pirates act in different names), we look at Snail Pacific, an all-purpose and advanced airline and transportation facility, where your about to have the ride of a lifetime... or is it?Find out what happens in Snail Pacific, behind the scenes, and behind the cockpit.





	First Class Time

**Author's Note:**

> Before we begin, this Tale of the Bizarre in this series, is the very last one on Ao3.  
> Next time, I'll be presenting you Tales of the Bizarre's #26-50.
> 
> For now, on with the show.

At a local airport, near Japan, on the coast of the Pacific Ocean, two men were walking down the halls, as they were meeting to get their tickets.  One had short black hair and a red shirt with denim shorts.  He also wore a straw hat on his head.  The other man was skinny, has long curly black hair done in a ponytail, and a hooknose.  He was wearing denim and slacks, as he showed his passport to the clerk.

“Yes, sir.”  The airport servant said, “First class ticket, Mr…”

“Uh, Usoppoli…  Mr. Usoppoli, it is pronounced.” He said, “So, will there be any accommodations?”

The clerk said, “Well, you and your friend’s credit is clear.  Is there a reason you’re going to Malaysia?”

Luffy said, “Oh, just the sights and sounds.  Not to mention a little relaxation, after traveling through sea.”

“Yes, Mr. Luffazlo.  All the cruises have been cancelled.”

“I know.  But that’s why we’re here, in _Snail Pacific_.”

“Indeed.  Okay… two to a round trip flight to Malaysia – _First Class_.”  The clerk typed in, as Usopp said, “Hey, Luffazlo, you think we’ll get great service in this flight?”

“Yeah, it’s going to be awesome than a cruise!  From what I hear, First Class is going to have everything in it.  And hopefully, all the meat I can eat!”

“Uh, I don’t think that’s how it works.  What about the rest of the passengers on board?”

“Oh, what’s the worst that can happen?”

As they got their tickets, a huge muscular man in blue hair done in a buzzcut, bulgy chrome forearms like Popeye, and a chrome metallic nose, wearing a red Hawaiian shirt and red speedos with a yellow star on it, was walking with a small deer creature, in brown fur, wearing a blue hat with a pink dot on it, and antlers sticking out.  He just got his ticket to Malaysia, as he went through the metal scanner.  He beeped, as he said, “Aw, man…”

He was confiscated of his bottles of soda, as he whined, “COME ON!  Why can’t I have my fix?”

The security officer in black said, “You know the rules – place your metallic objects in the tray.”

“HOW IS THIS METALLIC???”

The deer boy said, “Can I go through?”

He went through, as Frankie sighed, “Great.  _He_ gets to go on.”

Chopper waved to him, “Okay, Frank.  I’ll be waiting at the gate.”

Frankie was being scanned, as most of his parts were metallic.  He said, “Hey, can this hurry up?  I don’t want to miss my flight.”

The security guards were confused, as they forced Frankie to step in the X-ray machine.  The X-rays showed that most of his parts were metal.  Since it’s considered prosthetics, he was free to go.  He ran off, calling, “HEY!  Chopin, wait!”

Luffy & Usopp and Frankie & Chopper headed to where their plane was going – _Gate 23_.

A female voice called, “ _Flight 1613 to Malaysia will be boarding in a few minutes… Will all passengers please wait by Gate 23?_ ”

Luffy ran, as he was screaming, “USOPPOLI!  WE HAVE TO HURRY!”

Usopp got his passport back, as they dashed off, heading to Gate 23.

_The day is October 31 st, on a mild autumn day in Japan…  
Picture, if you can, Flight 1613 to Malaysia, en route to a vacation getaway.  Luffazlo, Usoppoli, Frank, and Chopin, four passengers heading to their scenic destination…  But as they are about to board, things will be very hectic, including our four passengers.  This is Snail Pacific, the most advanced airline in Japan… and our four First Class passengers, on-board Flight 1613, will experience a one-way trip… to a “ **Tale of the Bizarre** ”…_

**_Tales of the Bizarre #25:  
First Class Time_ **

A girl with a huge chest, in long orange hair, dressed in a red and white stewardess uniform, was by the gate, as she opened the door to Luffy and Usopp.  She said, in a steady smile, “Flight 1613 will now be boarding.  Welcome aboard.  Thank you for flying _Snail Pacific_.”

The boys bowed, as they stepped in.  The woman remained in a smile, as she said, “Welcome.”

They walked down the hall, heading to the plane, as Usopp asked, “Say, Luffazlo, do you know of her?”

Luffy said, “Hardly.  She is with a cute smile.”

Usopp blushed, “Not to mention that she is adorable.”

Luffy said, “Adorable, no… I’m beginning to think her stance was steadily and pure.”

Usopp replied, “Well, not really.  This stance of hers is rigid… now that you mentioned it.  Must be a new intern.”

“Nah, if she’s new, she’d be jittery on the first night.”

“Well, for the better, we better find our seats.”

They walked aboard the plane, as Frankie and Chopper followed.  The girl in orange hair bowed and said, “Your tickets have been verified.  Thank you for flying _Snail Pacific_ , and Happy Halloween.”

Chopper said, “It _is_ Halloween, right, Frank?”

Frankie said, “Yeah.  Sucks that I’ll have to miss out on the _Super_ Halloween Party.  But this vacation in Malaysia really hits the spot!”

Chopper smiled, “YAY!  I cannot wait!”

A girl in long black hair, sans bangs, and tan skin stopped her, with the same uniform as the other girl.  She said, “Good day.  I am sorry, but NO pets aboard First Class.”

Chopper shrieked, angrily, “WHO ARE YOU CALLING A PET, BUDDY?”

Frankie explained, “Oh, no, you misunderstood, ma’am.  He is a friend of mine, and he’s dressed for the occasion.”

The woman looked at him and said, “Ah, I see.  _Trick or Treat_?”

Chopper smiled, “Uh, yeah!  _Trick or Treat~!_ ”

He cheered on, as Robin said, “My, what a cute costume.”

Chopper blushed and giggled, “Oh, that’s not funny, you jerk.”

She stated, “Well, I’ll see that he gets something sweet.  I forgot that he’s a boy in a costume.  And you?”

Frankie lied, “Uh, well, I’m the kid’s uncle.  Yeah, ha, ha, ha!  Just thought I take my son on a trip, for Halloween~!”

Robin bowed and said, “Very well.  You shall be escorted to your seats.  The plane is this way.  Thank you for flying _Snail Pacific_.”

They walked off, as Frankie smirked, “Sucker.”

Chopper whispered, “Hey, Frank… Do you think it was wise to lie to that nice stewardess?”

Frankie replied, “I don’t think so.  But something about her seemed… … …freaky.”

“Yeah, I know.  That long pause… that blank look… You don’t think--?”

“Nah.  She’s obviously new.  You know how she gets burned out, during breaks.  Me, however, I hope my soda survives the trip.”

“Yeah, you and me both.  But why all that?”

“That’s for _me_.  I can’t live without it, and on any day, at all.”

“Well, why not buy soda, as a souvenir?”

“And waste money?  Forget it!  Besides, that stuff is crap.”

They arrived at the plane, as Luffy and Usopp were seated by the same woman with black hair.  She said, “This is your seat, gentlemen.”

They were sitting in plush black passenger chairs, as Usopp was sitting beside the window.  She said, “Will there be anything you need, before we liftoff?”

Luffy said, “No, we’ll let you know, ma’am.”

Robin bowed and said, “Right.  I’ll be right there for you, once we lift off.  Please stay seated and your seat belts buckled, and wait for the captain’s instructions.  Thanks for flying _Snail Pacific_.”

She walked away, as Luffy asked, “So… How’s the view?”

Usopp was shaken, as he was about to fly off.  Another woman in her uniform, one with orange hair, seated Frankie and Chopper on the other side, couple aisles away from Luffy and Usopp.  Nami smiled, “Will there be anything you need, before we lift off?”

Frankie was nervous, as Chopper asked, “Do you have a magazine I can read, for the flight?”

Nami pulled one out, as she gave it to him.  She said to him, “Here you go.  We have spare magazines in the side, near the door to the cockpit.  Feel free to take one.  But you are NOT to get up, just yet.  You _will_ have to stay in your seat, as we prepare for liftoff.”

Chopper smiled, “Thanks, ma’am!”

Nami walked off, as she went to the cockpit.  Robin followed.  Chopper was reading, as Frankie was about to say something.  He couldn’t, because Nami tightened his seatbelt too tight.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t that big for him, hence why the strapped cut off a bit of his circulation.

The pilot in a white and blue uniform, with a black captain’s hat, and moss greenish hair, and his left eye closed and scarred, was calling on the PA.

_Ding-Ding~…  
_ “Good afternoon, passengers.  And also, Happy Halloween.  This is your captain, Zoruck, speaking, and I’d like to welcome you aboard _Snail Pacific – Flight 1613_ to Malaysia.”

He was setting up the control panel, pressing some buttons, as another pilot, in blonde hair with his bangs covering the right eye and a goatee, smoking a cigarette, was resting.  Zoro continued, “For those of you who have boarded this plane, and have chosen this airline, you made the wrong choice.  Our fees here are a bit higher than your regular airlines in Japan, but this is very advance and very stable, since we will provide you with comfort and happiness, as long as you enjoy your stay in _Snail Pacific_ ; so, if you wish to complain, too bad.  Our prices are a tad bit high, but we have _quality_ for this airline.”

He signed off, as he slapped the cig off Sanji’s face.  He growled, as Sanji growled, “WHAT GIVES?”

“Do you WANT us to die, before we lift off?  Read the sign!”  Zoro roared.

Sanji looked at the sign, as he read aloud: “ _HEY YOU! NO smoking!_ ”

Zoro asked, “So?”

Sanji smirked, “Says _you_ , not _me_!”

Zoro growled, “Smoke, when we finish here!”

“I can’t help it.”

“You got two strikes on you, Sanjiro!  Do you want to get fired?”

“NO.  I don’t want to miss the sexy stewardesses.”

“Well, tough!  Your job is to fly the plane.  That is all!”

“Yes, Captain.”

He set up, as Zoro spoke on the PA.

_Ding-Ding~…  
_ “Sorry about that, passengers.  Had to go through some thorough engine set-up, since all of our engines run on pure 100% clean turbine.  Now then, for those who are in Coach, feel free to be given your complimentary peanuts and blankets, and the usual relaxation music.  And those who are in First Class, you shall receive the same thing, but with very _exclusive_ privileges.  As said, I’d like to say that those in First Class will enjoy the services of the airline’s exclusive and fully-automated flight attendants.”

Usopp asked, “Fully-automated?  Oh, like robots.”

Luffy smiled, “Yeah!  I’ll bet one of these robots can cook meat, in rare, medium, or my personal favorite, _Well-er-done_!”

Usopp giggled, as Luffy was drooling for meat, “Yeah, you sure want your fill.”

Frankie said, “Score!  _SUPER_ Flight attendants!”

The doors opened, as Nami and Robin appeared, standing straight.

Robin said, “Welcome aboard.”

Nami added, “Thank you for choosing _Snail Pacific_.”

Luffy gasped, “Huh?  These are--?”

Frankie shivered, “The same ladies from before?!”

Zoro continued, through the speaker, “These bionic ladies can, uh… do what a human flight crew member can do, like the real thing, except complain that their feet hurt.  Just joking… that sounds a bit intolerable.”

Sanji huffed, “Not funny.”

Zoro whispered, “Shut up.”

He said on the PA, “Ignore my co-pilot.  So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the flight; and remember, you shall order from your _Service Tablet_ , located in front of your seat.  Please remember to call for Namiko or Robiko, for service.  Thank you, and enjoy your flight.”

The PA sounded off, as Nami walked down the aisle.  Robin was rolling a tray in, as Usopp shivered, “Oh, man… We haven’t lifted off yet, and already we’re greeted by weird robots…”

Luffy used a Service Tablet, a black iPad, connected to the seat, and ordered five steaks.  Usopp cried, “WHOA! ALREADY?!”

The iPad said, “ _Please wait 30-45 minutes for your order.  Thank you_.”

Luffy said, “Let it cook.  I ordered mine well done and some ketchup.”

Usopp held his iPad and said, “Okay… Then, I’ll just get me some curry.  Ah, _Diablo Curry_?  I better ask the flight attendant.”

He pressed the button on the iPad, marked with a question mark on it, as Nami walked in, “Yes, sir?”

Usopp asked, “What is in your Diablo Curry?”

Nami explained, in a robotic tone, “Well, sir, _Diablo Curry_ is a plate of _curry_ cooked in hot sauce and jalapeno peppers, to give this food a kick, as it comes with a side of rice.  Optional side dishes: _water_. _CAUTION: may burn roof of mouth_.”

Usopp was shivering, as he said, “Uh, yeah… Never mind then…  I’ll just order plain curry.”

Nami bowed and said, “Right away, sir.  Please use the Service Tablet to pre-order for dinner, and we’ll have it ready in _25 minutes_.”

She walked away, as he sighed, “Ugh… Like I’d want super spicy curry.”

Luffy smiled, “Ah, no biggie.  I had to order five steaks, when I saw it on the tablet.”

He placed it down, as Robin placed a blanket on Frankie, as he was listening to headphones.  She turned to Chopper and said, “Little boy, do you need anything, before we lift off?”

Chopper said, “Oh, no, I’m fine.  How about some potato chips?”

Robin turned to the Service Tablet and said, “If you like, please make your order on the touchscreen service tablet in front of you.  I’ll go get you some _potato chips_ , once we are leaving.  Goodbye.”

She walked off, as Chopper read his magazine.

Minutes later, the plane flew off, as Zoro called from the PA, “Here we go!  Uh… Hello, passengers, thank you for boarding _Snail Pacific._ As of right now, we are clear for takeoff, so everyone buckle up and enjoy the ride.”

Usopp looked out the window, as he was shaken in fear, seeing the blue sky and clouds, in the view.

Minutes passed, as everyone was enjoying their flight.  Frankie was relaxing with his blanket, as Chopper looked at the iPad, or the service tablet.  He selected _Treat Yourself_ , and then picked _ONE blanket, ONE pillow, and ONE bag of potato chips._   He smiled and said, “Oh, so that’s how it works?”

Robin returned, as she said, “Hello, sir.  On your touchscreen, you have selected, under _Treat Yourself_ : _One_ blanket; _One_ pillow; _One_ bag of potato chips.  And here is that bag of _potato chips_ that you requested, child.”

Frankie woke up, as he moaned, “Huh?  Hey, Chopin, what’s going on?”

Chopper took the two bags of chips, as he relaxed in his pillow and blanket.  He griped “HEY!  How did he get that?”

Robin stated, “I’m sorry.  But your request is _unresponsive_.”

Frankie explained, “So, why did he get _two_ bags of chips, then?”

Robin replied, “He ordered on our touchscreen service tablet.  The first bag was a request, since he’s cute.”

Chopper giggled, and was embarrassed, “I heard that, you stupid jerk.  That was so embarrassing.”

Robin asked Franky, “Would you like something?”

He said, as he shook his head, “Nah, maybe later.  If you have soda, then I’ll order.”

“Affirmative.  Soda, ordered on our _Touchpad,_ on _Treat Yourself_.”

“Okay.  What do you have?”

Robin beeped, “We have _Pepsi, Coke, Sprite, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, Minute Maid lemonade,_ and _Mug_.  All available in _regular_ or _diet_.”

She bowed and left.  He sighed, “Darn it.  This kid’s got the good stuff.”

Chopper was munching on his bag of chips, as Frankie used the tablet.

On the other side, Nami gave Luffy a hot towel on his head.  She carefully placed it on his head, as he whispered, “Oh, that’s the stuff…”

Usopp responded, “Hey, what about me?”

Nami said, “He ordered it on _Treat Yourself_.  And he requested a _hot towel,_ to relax himself with.”

Usopp used the iPad and selected “ _Hot Towel_ ”.  He barked, “Then give ME one, robot!”

Nami smiled and said, “Certainly, sir.”

She placed the hot towel on his lap, as he screeched, feeling the pain.  He whimpered and moaned, then screamed, “YAAAAAH!  THAT BURNS!”

Nami smiled, “Happy Halloween.  Goodbye.”

She walked off, as Usopp removed the hot towel from his lap, whimpering in pain.  He moaned, “Luffazlo, I don’t like this flight.  That robot just placed the hot towel on my lap… It burns…”

He sobbed, as Luffy asked, “You say something, Usoppoli?”

He growled, as Usopp ordered, “Okay.  Once more, you automated harlot.”

Nami returned, as she asked, “Hot towel, sir?”

Usopp smiled and said, “Please.  On my _head_ , this time.”

Nami asked, “Head?”

She draped the hot towel over his head and then wrapped it.  He moaned, as he was muffling, “BURN! BURN! BURN!  I’M SUFFOCATING!”

Nami bowed and beeped, “That’ll be _50 Yen_ , for extra towel. I shall charge that for you, _Mister Usoppoli_.  Goodbye.”

She walked away, as Usopp was red in the face, because of the burns he got.  He complained, “YOU GET CHARGED FOR A _SECOND_ HOT TOWEL?  WHAT KIND OF CRACK AIRLINE IS THIS?”

He sighed, as Luffy was relaxing.  On the other side, Frankie was relaxing in his seat, as Chopper fell asleep in his blanket and pillow.  Frankie ordered a soda, as he said, “Well, as long as I’ll have my extra cola in baggage, I’ll have me a pick-me-up.  Cans are okay, since I packed some bottles with me.  I usually prefer those over aluminum.”

Robin appeared with a can of Coca-Cola, “Hello, sir.  You have ordered a _Coke_.  Is this correct?”

Frankie looked at the can, as he asked, “Huh?  A can?!  Uh, Miss, I’m sorry, but do you have a bottle or something?  I don’t think cans work for me.”

Robin said, “I’m sorry.  But this is all we have.  You ordered a can of _Coke_.  Is this correct?”

Frankie said, as he gave up, “Sure.  Give it here.”

He was given the can and placed it down.  Robin bowed and said, “Goodbye.”

Frankie said, “Compact-sized.  Remind me to try out the other flavors.  But not that lemonade, though.”

Zoro spoke in the PA, “Attention, passengers, this is your captain, Zoruck, speaking.  We are going to be in a delay, before we can get to Malaysia.  So, sit back and relax.  Also, I’d like to point out some of the flaws that your automated flight attendants may experience.  They have been repaired, on a monthly basis, and have been working extremely well, with the newest software upgrade, so, you _might_ expect some glitches, before we can repair them, Tuesday, for their monthly tune-up in November.”

He signed off, as Sanji growled, “So, how come _I_ can’t get service from my flight attendant?”

Zoro said, “Because, idiot, these robots are forbidden to enter the cockpit.”

“Phooey…”

“Don’t beat yourself up.  You get First Class, you’re more than welcome to receive some accommodations.”

“Yeah, until I get fired, I mean.  Is there a rule about touching these robots?  I mean, suppose that they are curious about being felt… up there…”

He had hearts for eyes, as he continued, “YOU HAVE TO TELL ME!  They’d enjoy that, if I did that, because it sounded so cool!  Suppose that they moan like sexy stewardesses!”

Zoro pondered, “Sick pervert…  You know, now that you mention it, no one has ever touched the robots, during their flights on 1613.  Hell, since they came here, on any plane, no information of where and how.  All since we introduced them, last summer, they were delicate and clean.  But I heard that they once became rather shy.”

“You mean like they cannot please someone on First Class?”

“Well, they _were_ untested, when they were introduced… and these girls are perfect on prefecture.”

“Yeah, but imagine the size of their breasts!  So perfect.”

“That’s just it!  Suppose if someone touched them _there_ , let alone on the arm or leg…  This could be a problem, Sanjiro.  Maybe on the chest or butt… but anywhere in skin level, I shudder to think how they’d react.”

“Captain, they’re _just_ robots.  They’re not going to go all-out and kill everyone on the plane.  Why do you think we made fail-safes on them, and why the doors are bulletproof and indestructible?  Besides, they can’t even feel.”

Zoro thought, as he said, “Yeah, but… every flight we had, with Namiko and Robiko on-board, it’s always flawless.  But this is different.”

“Come on, Cap.  What’s the worst that can happen?” Sanji chortled.

**WHAP!  
** Zoro slapped the cigarette off his mouth.  Sanji groaned, as he grabbed the control lever.

Back in First Class, a man asked a woman, “You know of these robots?  They look so cute.”

The woman replied, “I know.  But I heard that one of them almost had a man make a pass on her.”

Usopp listened on, as he nudged at Luffy, “Hey, Luffazlo, you hear that?  You think it has anything to do with them?”

Luffy asked, “Who, those girls?  Why, what’s up?”

“Well, they said that someone touched them, and somehow…  Uh…”

He heard the whole story from the man and woman, as they explained that a robot flight attendant, Namiko or Robiko, once attacked a commuter, when he tried to feel her up.  Usopp believed that the glitch in her systems must be the reason why she’s acting funny.  Not to mention the fact that it’s Halloween, and it’s almost dusk.  Luffy laughed and said that it’s ridiculous, since the robots cannot attack people.  Usopp believed that he _was_ attacked, when Nami placed a towel on his crotch.

Usopp shivered, “You think it might be a glitch that she wrapped my head like a mummy?”

Luffy said, “Oh, don’t be ridiculous.  They’re too advanced.”

“THAT’S JUST IT!”  He roared, “WHAT IF THESE ROBOTS ARE DANGEROUS?”

Nami appeared, as she said to Usopp, “I’m sorry, sir.  Please keep the noise down, while a few of our passengers are sleeping.  Do forgive me, but a child is on board, sleeping.”

Chopper was sleeping in seat, as Frankie was drinking his soda.  Usopp shivered, “Sorry… but I kept hearing reports on--.”

Nami smiled, “Aw, do not be so scared.  Is this your first flight?”

Usopp said, “Well, yes, but no.  This is my 12th vacation, but my first on a plane.  I usually take a boat.”

Nami beeped, “I understand.  Forecast today calls for _rain_ , with _70_ percent chance of _thunder_.  Storm will clear up by _Tomorrow_.  _ERROR… All boat trips cancelled, due to severe thunderstorms.  Thunderstorm Warning at affect._ ”

Luffy gasped, “Fancy that.  An automated weather forecaster.”

Nami smiled and said, “Thank you, sir.  I am programmed to assist your flight in _Snail Pacific_.  I used to be a weathergirl, and then a flight navi, but a flight attendant sounds better in my _job functions_.”

Usopp said, “I see.  How about we chat together?”

Nami bowed and said, “Goodbye.”

She walked off, as Usopp called, “WAIT!”

He groaned, “Oh, I forgot, that robot needs to work.  Loyal, yet very convulsive.”

Luffy ordered a pillow, as he said, “Well, I’m not going to stick around.  Lemme know when dinner is ready.”

Robin returned with a pillow.  She placed it on Luffy’s face, and then held it down, smothering him.  He screamed, as he was muffling, “HEY!  WHAT ARE YOU DOING?  AAAAGH!  CAN’T BREATHE!”

Usopp yelled, “HEY, STOP IT!  YOU’RE KILLING HIM!”

Robin let go, as she said, “Happy Halloween.  Goodbye.”

She walked off, as Luffy gasped for air.  He groaned, “Damn it!  What is wrong with that machine?”

He pressed the _Help_ button, as Robin returned.  She said to Luffy, “Yes?”

Luffy asked, “Hey, why did you suffocate me with that pillow?”

Robin replied, “For _Treat Yourself_ , you have ordered the following: _One pillow_.”

He griped, “I KNOW THAT, ROBOT!  I meant why did you put it on my face?”

Robin calmed him down and said, “Sir, perhaps you need to calm down.  Plus, there is a child on-board.”

She held her right arm out and extended with three extra hands.  She rubbed his shoulders, as she placed the pillow, with her free hand, on the back of his head.  He relaxed, as Usopp was shocked, with his jaw dropped.  He whispered, “My god… three hands in one arm?  It isn’t advanced… it’s freaky…”

Robin added, “If anything else, let me know on the touchpad.  Goodbye.”

She walked off, as Luffy relaxed.  Usopp moaned, “You’re kidding me…”

Nami was by the huge TV screen, near the cockpit, as she said, “Good evening, people in _Snail Pacific_.  Tonight, we have arranged a special treat for you.”

Franky laughs, “Finally, some entertainment.”

Nami continued, “Tonight’s in-flight movie, for _October 31 st_, is a scary horror tale…”

Chopper sobbed, “Sc-sc-sc-sc-scary?”

Nami beeped, “Please enjoy “ _It Came from Yagami Forest_ ”.  Thank you.”

She walked off, as the movie was starting.  Chopper was too scared, as Franky said, “Ho, boy.  This is a good movie to see.”

Luffy was annoyed, as he watched on, “Same ol’ plot.  Not that scary.”

Usopp said nothing.  He was cringing in terror, watching the horror unfold.

**XXXXX**

Three hours has passed, as Frankie and Chopper fell asleep.  Nami returned with a tray, as she approached Luffy & Usopp.  She said, “Dinner is served.  For your order, you ordered: _FIVE steaks, with ketchup on the side_.”

Luffy held the tray down, as Nami placed his food on it.  Nami then gave Usopp his curry.  She beeped, “For _your_ order: _ONE plate of curry_.  Enjoy.”

Luffy started to chow down, as Nami left with the empty tray.  Usopp then said, looking at his curry, “Not bad.  This looks really good.”

He took a bite, as his eyes opened wide.  His face turned red and then started to scream, shooting fire from his mouth.

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!”  He ran around, as Nami gasped.  Usopp hollered out, “WATER! WATER! WATER!”

Nami opened her left arm and produced a hose nozzle.  She aimed at Usopp and cried, “FIRE!”

**WHOOOOOOOOSH!  
** Usopp was extinguished, as he was covered in water.  He moaned, as he was fanning his mouth, “Super spicy…”

He roared at the robot attendant, “You jerk!  THAT WAS THE DIABLO CURRY!”

Nami spoke, “I’m sorry.  But the _Diablo Curry_ is _very, very spicy_.  The regular curry is packed with its normal ingredients, but with a kick.”

Usopp complained, “Where’s your supervisor?  I want you fired, or at least dismantled!  I’ll have your job for this!  This is the worst flight I’ve ever been on!”

Nami glared at him, as she beeped, with her eyes glowing infrared, “I’m sorry, sir.  Please compose yourself, or I shall have you strapped down.”

Luffy called, “Hey, it’s all good, Usoppoli.  Wanna share mine?”

Usopp shivered in fear, as he slinked back, “Damn… She’s like a Terminator…  I wanna get off, but we’re flying at 20,000 feet…”

Nami corrected, “Actually, we’re flying at roughly _and_ approximately _fifteen thousand feet_.  If you don’t want to make a scene, then I suggest that you calm down.”

She grabbed his neck and beeped, “Otherwise, you will have to be thrown off this plane.”

Usopp shrieked, “AAGH!  NOT THAT!  THAT’S 15,000 FEET TO DEATH!  WAIT, WHY ARE YOU THREATENING ME?  YOU CANNOT KILL!  AAGH!”

Nami barked, “KEEP IT DOWN!  This is your _first_ warning.  The time is _nine forty-two PM_ , _Japan Standard time_.  Most of First Class is sleeping.  Please, compose yourself.”

Usopp gasped for air, as Luffy called to Nami, “Hey, cool robot attendant, how about a glass of water and some bread with thi--?  Oh, right.  Touchscreen magic pad, gimme water.”

Usopp pleaded, as Nami lifted him by the neck, in a glare, “OKAY! OKAY! LEMME GO!  I WON’T MAKE A SCENE!  GAH!  URK!”

He was turned blue, as the robot’s grip makes it hard to breathe.  He choked, “Urk… I’m choking… Lemme go…”

Nami let go, as he fell to the floor.  She said, with a smile, “Thank you.  Happy Halloween.  Goodbye.”

She turned around and walked away, as Usopp crawled back to his seat.  He panted for air, as Luffy finished his plate.  He said, “You okay?”

Usopp coughed, “Yeah…  Damn robot…”

Luffy giggled, “While you were busy with that stewardess, I finished it all.  MAN, am I stuff?”

Usopp groaned, “Sheesh…  Worst trip ever.  NO in-flight movie, NO accommodations, not even a single working toilet.  This is, by far, my worst experience on the plane.”

Luffy laughed, “Well, aside from that glitch, I’m doing okay now, Usoppoli.”

“Luffazlo, I can’t take it.”

“You want me to call one of them to tuck you in to relax?”

“NO!”  He shrieked, “Uh, I mean, no…  I’ll be fine.”

He sobbed, looking out the window, “Man, I hate robots…”

**XXXXX**

Minutes later, Chopper woke up and said, “I need to use the bathroom.”

He got off his seat, as he called to the robot, “Excuse me, Miss?  Where’s your bathroom?”

Robin said, “Over there.  Follow me.  It’s right there, located near the door to Coach.”

She escorted him to the bathrooms, as Frankie moaned, waking up.  He said, as he called for Nami.  Nami appeared, as she said, holding a can of soda, “Care for a drink, sir?”

Frankie ordered a Sprite, as Nami giggled.  She said, “Sir, this is, as I counted, your _seventh_ can on this flight.  Are you hydrated enough?”

Frankie replied, “Oh, you know me, lady.  I’m trying to maintain my soda take, and I didn’t bother with the water, lemonade, and root beer.  I prefer cola.  But this stuff, I haven’t started on.  This, _Sprite_ , if you will, suppose I can--.”

Nami gave him the can and said, “That’ll be _100 Yen_.  You have reached your limit of _Drink Service_.  You’re charged for extra on this flight.”

Frankie asked, “What?  But you said to treat yourself!  So, why do I have to pay?”

Nami beeped, “You know that there are limits to treating yourself.  Next can – _100 Yen._ Next can--, next can--, next can--, next can--.  URK!”

She twitched, as she said, with a smile, “Will that be all, sir?”

Her left eye twitched a bit, as Frankie asked, “Hey, you okay?”

Nami beeped, “No. No. No.  Goodbye.  Enjoy your flight.”

Her head tilted to the right and her eyes went cross-eyed, “ _Next can--, next can--, can-can-can-can-can-can-can--._ URK!”

She walked off, wobbly and dizzy, as she said, “No. I am fine. _I’m fine_.  Goodbye.”

Frankie said, “Overworked, I’ll bet.  That’s what happens when you take a flight to Malaysia, for hours on end.  Okay, _last_ can.  Can’t waste any more money on this.  Flight’s almost over.  But hey, better than crappy airport soda.”

He took a sip, as Robin showed Chopper to the bathroom.  He went in, as the door changed to _Occupied_.  Inside the bathroom, Chopper washed his hands and dried off with a towel.  He tossed it in the bin, as he left the bathroom, changing the door to _Vacant_.  Robin said, “Now, you shall be escorted back to your seat.”

Chopper smiled, “Thanks, lady~!”

Robin extended her arm, with spare forearms, to hold onto Chopper’s hand.  He was shocked, with his jaw dropped, as she said, “Right this way.”

Chopper cried, “ARE YOU KIDDING ME?”

They returned to their seat, as Frankie asked, “Where have you been?”

Chopper said, “Bathroom…”

He returned to his seat, as he was stunned, seeing the robot’s arm extend.  Frankie said, “Hey, is he okay?”

Robin said, “Naturally.  You’ve never seen a robot that can reach, without bending.”

“Oh… kay… By the way, your partner suddenly glitched up, while you were away.”

“Who? Namiko?”

“Yeah, the cute girl in long orange hair.  She suddenly charged me for--.”

“Goodbye.”  She suddenly spoke, as she interrupted him.

She walked off, as Frankie cried, “Wait, wait, wait!  I wasn’t done!”

He sighed, as he said, “This is nuts.”

He asked Chopper, “Hey, Reindeer guy, you okay? Chopin?”

Chopper said nothing.  He was still stunned by that moment.

Back on the other side, Luffy was relaxing, as Usopp looked out the window.  Robin said, as she shut the window, using her extended arm, “ _Ten PM_.  Time to sleep in for the night.”

She continued, “The plane will land at _four AM_ , _Japan Standard Time_.”

Usopp trembled, as Robin said, “Comfy? Comfy?”

Usopp said, “You don’t have to repeat yourself.”

She gave Luffy and Usopp a spare pillow and blanket, as she said, “Goodnight.  And Happy Halloween.”

She walked off, as Usopp cringed, “ _Goodnight_ , she says…”

Luffy was fast asleep, still full from his dinner, as Usopp sighed, “Next flight I go on, I’ll stay away from First Class.”

Back at the cockpit, Sanji set it on _Autopilot,_ as he said, “Hey, Captain, I’m going to go take a break.  This is tiring.”

Zoro grabbed him and said, “NO!  You don’t, smartass.  I know your trick.  You’re going to feel up that robot, are you?”

Sanji complained, “ARE YOU CRAZY?  Bastard!  I’m only going for a smoke!”

“YOU CANNOT SMOKE IN THE DAMN PLANE!  THIS IS A NON-SMOKING AIRLINE!”

“WELL, WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY ANYTHING?”

“THE WHEEL, SANJIRO!  THE WHEEL!”

“IT’S ON AUTOPILOT!”

“THAT’S THE ENGINES!”

He gasped, as he held the wheel.  He turned the engines back on, as Zoro growled, “Idiot.  Listen, I’m going out, and I’m getting some coffee.  DON’T get up from your seat!  We have to make that trip, and soon!  I do not want to miss that Halloween Party in Florida!”

Sanji corrected, “Uh, Malaysia’s here in Asia.”

Zoro yelled, “Then where the hell are we going?!”

Sanji said, “Look, get your stupid coffee.  I’ll land us there.”

“You better.”  Zoro left, as he growled.

He walked down the aisle, as everyone is asleep.  He said, as he was confused, “Lemme see… Where is the coffee tray?  First Class?  No… Coach… Maybe it’s in cargo.  ARGH!  This plane is too damn big!  Why did I get this job?”

He arrived towards Nami, who was cleaning up the trays.  He said, “Hey, Namiko, how about some coffee?”

Nami beeped, “Coffee is for morning.”

“I know that,” he said, “I meant about the coffee for me and my co-pilot.  Can’t fly, while being drowsy, right?”

Nami ignored him, as he was cleaning.  He said, “Oh, come now.”

He approached her, but paused a bit, remembering their conversation, from earlier.

_He signed off, as Sanji growled, “So, how come I can’t get service from my flight attendant?”_

_Zoro said, “Because, idiot, these robots are forbidden to enter the cockpit.”_

_“Phooey…”_

_“Don’t beat yourself up.  You get First Class, you’re more than welcome to receive some accommodations.”_

_“Yeah, until I get fired, I mean.  Is there a rule about touching these robots?  I mean, suppose that they are curious about being felt… up there…”_

_He had hearts for eyes, as he continued, “YOU HAVE TO TELL ME!  They’d enjoy that, if I did that, because it sounded so cool!  Suppose that they moan like sexy stewardesses!”_

_Zoro pondered, “Sick pervert…  You know, now that you mention it, no one has ever touched the robots, during their flights on 1613.  Hell, since they came here, on any plane, no information of where and how.  All since we introduced them, last summer, they were delicate and clean.  But I heard that they once became rather shy.”_

_“You mean like they cannot please someone on First Class?”_

_“Well, they were untested, when they were introduced… and these girls are perfect on prefecture.”_

_“Yeah, but imagine the size of their breasts!  So perfect.”_

_“That’s just it!  Suppose if someone touched them there, let alone on the arm of leg…  This could be a problem, Sanjiro.”_

Zoro held her shoulder, as Nami blushed.  Zoro said, “Hey, can you get us coffee for Sanjiro and me? Please?  I mean, you girls aren’t allowed in the cock--.”

**POW!  
** Nami slugged him in the stomach, with her elbow, as she said, “Do not touch this delicate machinery.”

Her eye twitched, as she beeped, “Welcome to _Snail Pacific_.  Enjoy your flight.  En-en-en-en-enjoy your flight.”

Zoro coughed, as he held his stomach.  He gasped, “What the hell?  Is she malfunctioning?  I guess that touching part is off-limits, huh?”

She approached Zoro and beeped, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry.  Be good, or I will have to str-stra-stra-stra-stra- _strangle you_ -strap you down.”

“Wha--?  What did you say?”  He gasped.

She grabbed his collar, as Nami smiled, “This is your _first – and last –_ warning.  Behave, or I will have you thrown off this plane.”

“Agh!  Lemme go, you stupid machine!”

He broke free, as he said, “Damn it!  What is wrong with her?”

He spoke to her, “Namiko, this is an order.  Shut down and repair.”

Nami said, “I’m sorry, but that response is _incorrect_.  Please ask again. Ask again. Ask again. Ask-ask-ask-ask-ask-ask-ask--.”

**BZZT!  
** Nami froze, and then smiled, “Happy Halloween.  Goodbye.”

She walked off, only this time.  She walked to the wall, bouncing off into it, trying to walk away.  She kept walking into the wall, as she beeped, “Welcome… Welcome… Welcome…”

Zoro then said, “I guess… she’s broken.  I’ll have the technicians examine her, when we land.”

Robin appeared, as she said, “Care for a drink, sir?”

Zoro gasped, “AAGH!  Why are _you_ ON?  Don’t scare me like that!”

He asked her, “Listen, your friend, Namiko, is broken.  Can you turn her off?”

Robin said, “I’m sorry.  But your response is _incorrect_.  Please aaaaaaask again.”

She was glitching, too.  Zoro said, “I guess _both_ of them are broken.  I’ll have to land the plane, immediately.”

Namiko turned around, as she beeped, “For your service, you have selected: _ONE Sprite._ Is that correct?”

She threw a can of Sprite at Zoro, as he was struck in the head.  “OW!  THAT HURTS!”

Robin grabbed his shoulders, as Zoro was caught.  She beeped, “Do not make a--, Do not make a--, make a--, make a scene, sir.”

Zoro barked, “WHAT scene?  I’m not doing anything!”

Nami beeped, “Be good, or I’ll have to strap you down… All the passengers are sleeping.  Happy Halloween.”

Robin said, “The time is _Eleven fourteen-teen-teeeeeen…_ And you need sleeeeeeeee--.”

She stopped, and smiled, “Goodbye.”

Zoro whined, “But I’m the Captain!”

Back in the cockpit, Sanji was bored.  He said, “Where’s that coffee?”

Back in the aisles, Robin and Nami walk after Zoro, who was crawling back to the cockpit.  Usopp woke up, as he moaned, “What’s all the noise?”

Nami beeped, as she called out, “Attention, passenger.  You have violated the rules of your flight.  _Indoor voices, when sleeeeeeeping_.”

Luffy moaned, “What the hell?  * _yawn_ * Who’s calling out?”

Nami’s eyes turned red, as she said to Zoro, in a robotic auto tune, “Now, you shall be punished.  Goodbye. Hot towel? Hot towel?”

She threw a hot towel at Zoro, and another at Luffy.  He ducked, as Usopp was struck by the hot towel.  He screamed, “YAAAAAAAH!  NOT AGAIN!”

Luffy cried, “WHOA!  WHAT’S WRONG WITH THEM?”

Chopper woke up, as Frankie looked.  He gasped, “NO WAY!”

Chopper shivered, “I’m scared, Frank.  I don’t want to fly, anymore.”

The flight attendants were malfunctioning, as Zoro tried to enter the cockpit.  He opened the door, but Robin grabbed his ankle, with her long left arm, which extended in seven forearms attached.  She said, “No.  You cannot escape.  You are to be punished.  You’re a bad passenger.  _Snail Pacific_ frowns upon rude behavior.”

Luffy cried, “HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, YOU MALFUNCTIONING NICO ROBOT?”

Usopp cried, “THAT’S THE CAPTAIN!”

Robin replied, “I’m sorry. But that response is _incorrect_.”

They griped, “HOW IS _THAT_ AN INCORRECT RESPONSE???”

Nami approached them and said, “Now, now. Now, now. Now, now-now-now-now-now.  Please enjoy your flight.  Goodbye.  Happy Halloween.  Enjoy-, enjoy-enjoy-enjoy--.  Service?”

Usopp shrieked, “AAAAAAAAGH!  SHE’S GONE LOCO!”

Zoro roared, “SOMEONE DEACTIVATE THEM!”

Sanji opened the door, as Zoro was being dragged off, “HEY!  Where’s my coffee, Captain Moss-head?  I’m getting impatient!”

Frankie called, “HEY!  Are you the co-pilot?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, do something about your robot flight attendants!”

Sanji was aroused, as he smiled, “WITH PLEASURE~!”

Zoro yelled, “NO MEANS NO!  JUST SAVE ME, YOU IDIOT!”

Sanji called, “Lemme try something!”

He approached a stiffened Nami, as he said, “Now, now, Namiko-Swan~.  You need to calm down.”

He held her arms and whispered, “You can tone your circuits down, you bionic babe.”

Nami beeped, in a flushed look on her face, “You, sir, can keep your hands to yourself.”

She tossed him down, as Sanji was hurt.  He moaned, “Well, that didn’t work.”

Usopp called out, “SOMEONE DO SOMETHING!”

Zoro cried, “NEVER MIND THE ROBOT!  SAVE _ME_!”

Luffy grabbed Robin’s long arm and snapped it off.  Robin beeped, “Ow. Ow. Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow.”

Robin’s eyes were cross-eyed and beeped again, in a robotic auto-tune voice, “ _WARNING!  This machine has been abused… Violators will be punished._ ”

Her eyes regained form, as they turned blood red, “ _I am sorry. I have to do this. To you._ ”

Zoro was free, as he approached Sanji.  He grumbled, “You didn’t touch her… did you?”

Sanji moaned, “Just the legs and arms.”

**BONK!  
** Zoro slugged him in the head and yelled, “I SAID _DO NOT_!”

“WHAT NOW?”

“FOLLOW ME!”

They returned to the cockpit, as a few of the passengers were waking up, startled and frightened.  Frankie held Chopper tight, as Luffy and Usopp were balled up in the corner.  Nami and Robin continued to malfunction, as their eyes turned red and demonic, turning their attention towards Luffy and Usopp.  Nami beeped, “Welcome.  Enjoy your flight.  Care for a soda, sir?”

Robin beeped, with her left arm ripped off, “For your order, you have sel-ec-ec-ec-ec-ec-ec--.  Error… Error… Your response is _incorrect_.”

Luffy and Usopp sobbed, “Mommy…”

Zoro and Sanji returned to the cockpit controls, as Sanji held the wheel.  Zoro called out, “Okay, Sanjiro!  Activate the _Emergency Alert_!”

Sanji pressed the red button, and said, “Alright.  _Emergency landing – Sierra, Tango, Romeo, Alpha… Whiskey, Hotel, Alpha, Tango_ …”

He held the control stick, as Zoro continued, “Good work!  While the Alert begins, I’m going to make an emergency landing!”

He called to the tower, as a skeletal man in a black suit and hat, with a puffy black afro, responded from inside the tower, “ _YOhohohohohoho~!_ Go ahead, Flight 1613.”

Zoro called, “Tower, this is Flight 1613, requesting emergency landing.  Namiko and Robiko malfunctioned… _again_!”

Brook responded, “Flight 1613, we have you on radar.  Land at Sekong, Laos.  Runway clearance is being made.  You are marked on your radar.  Also, we’ll have the techs ready for repairs on Namiko & Robiko.  _Yohohoho~!_ ”

He smiled, “Also, if you don’t save those cute robot girls, can you show me their panties?”

Zoro responded, “Negative, tower.”

“Well, get to Sekong, immediately.  I’ll have the techs on stand-by, near the entrance, on my watchful eye; being if I had any eyes to begin with. _YOhohohoho~!_ Sorry.  Skull Joke.”

“Roger, tower.  Heading to Sekong. Over and out.”

Zoro said, “Alright, Sanjiro.  To Sekong, and land it!”

Sanji asked, “WHAT?  Not Malaysia?!”

“Sorry, but I hope the robots mind the emergency landing.  This is desperate!  Just follow the coordinates.”  Zoro ordered.

Sanji growled, “I’m just saying… Stupid robot girls, breaking down, again…  Trip to Bermuda, all over again…”

Zoro laughed, “Sucks that you know _now_ , right?”

Sanji smirked, “At least it wasn’t _breast level_.  I may have two strikes, but I’m _not_ that stupid.”

Zoro barked, “Activate the emergency protocol signal for Namiko & Robiko!  This’ll stifle them, for the moment.”

Sanji sighed, as he flipped the yellow switch, “Yeah, yeah.  Shouldn’t have quit my job as a chef.”

Back in the plane, Nami & Robin went closer.  Robin held her right arm up, about to grab Luffy.  But then, a chime was made, as Nami and Robin heard it.  Luffy and Usopp were shaken in the corner, as Frankie was trembling.  The robots stopped, as their eyes returned to normal.  Then they walked away, back to the small room.  But on the way, Nami suddenly tripped down in the aisle, and fell to the floor, breaking her head off.  She twitched, as Robin fell backwards, onto the floor, as well.  They stopped moving, with their motors shutting down.  Nami beeped, from her head, “Thank you for flying _Snail Pacific_.  Goodbye.”

Nami’s eyes went black, as her mouth spewed smoke.  Robin powered off, too, as her body was smoking.  Chopper couldn’t stop crying, as Frankie held him, “It’s all over.  Man, I have GOT to see my travel agent!  He is SO fired!”

Luffy sobbed, “Is it over?”

Usopp shivered, “I don’t know…”

_Ding-Ding~…  
_ Zoro announced, “Uh… Attention, passengers, sorry for the ruckus, earlier, but we have experienced turbulence in the robots.  Uh… we do believe that they are now broken.  I made an emergency alert to the robots that they can stop service, temporarily… uh… So, while we have the technicians examine them to see what went wrong, we’re going to make an emergency landing to _Sekong_.  Again, we apologize for the ruckus, and also, Happy Halloween.  Thank you for flying _Snail Pacific_.  If you chose this airline, we are _truly_ sorry.”

Luffy said, as he approached the broken Nami Robot.  He said, “Wow.  Who knew they broke?  No wonder why she tried to kill me.”

Nami’s head twitched her eye, and then spoke, “Happy Halloween.”

Luffy gasped, as Nami’s head stopped, completely.  He nudged her head and said, in complete fear, “Hello?  Nami-bot, or whatever?”

He sighed in relief, “Oh, good.  It’s over.”

Frankie said, in complete fear, “Man, I hate this flight.  You okay, Chopin?”

Chopper sobbed, “Yes.  WAAAAH!  STUPID ROBOTS!  I HATE THEM!!!”

He comforted him, as Luffy and Usopp returned to their seats.  They said, as everyone was going back to sleep, “Thank goodness…”

Meanwhile, in the cockpit, Brook called from the radio, “Flight 1613, you’re cleared for landing in Sekong. Over.”

Zoro responded, “Copy that, tower.  We’ll be arriving in your view.  Over and out.”

Sanji sighed, “Thank god it’s over.”

The plane head to Sekong, as it made an emergency landing, near the Sekong Airport.

**XXXXX**

Minutes later, Luffy and Usopp got their baggage, as Luffy said, “Well, they said that the robots are broken, and will be replaced with newer models.”

Usopp sobbed, “No more airplanes… I wanna take the boat!”

Luffy said, “Well, the storm isn’t clearing up… but we could make it to the next boat ride.”

They approached the clerk, as Luffy asked, “Uh, sir, can we change our ride to a boat?  My friend has become airsick.”

The clerk said, “Okay, I think we have _one_ boat remaining, and the weather is clear for sailing from here to Malaysia.”

Luffy said, “Thank you, sir.”

They gave him their passports, as Frankie was on the other side, giving the female clerk his passport, “Uh, yeah, about my flight, any chance you can return me to Japan?”

The female receptionist said, “Certainly.  After that experience, you and your friend will ride home, free of charge, as a token of our sincerest apologies for last night’s malfunction.”

Frankie sobbed, “Just keep me away from those robots!”

She said, “Certainly.  Flight 712 – Sekong to Tokyo, via _Coach_?  Report to Gate 17.”

Frankie smiled to Chopper, as he said, “What do you say we go home?”

Chopper smiled, “SURE!  But does this mean we’ll be taking First Class, again?”

Frankie said, “Not a chance.  After seeing those robots, becoming evil terminators, I’d rather stick to coach, any _super_ day.  Plus, having that cutie charge me for soda… that’s low!”

They walked together, as the PA announced, “ _May I have your attention, please?  The boat for the S.S. Shanks, Sekong to Malaysia, will now be boarding…  Thank you, and Happy Halloween_.”

Luffy said, “Hey, Usoppoli, there’s our ride!  COME ON!”

Usopp called out, “THANK GOODNESS!!  SEAS OF ASIA, WAIT FOR ME!”

They ran off, in a fast-manner, as Zoro and Sanji were resting by the bench, covered in a blanket and having tea.  Zoro huffed, “Never… … …speak of this… … …again…”

Sanji held the head of Namiko, as he said, “Well, they were beautiful, but… how sad that they turned evil.”

“Probably another glitch in the software.  For now, ALL the Namiko and Robiko flight attendant models will be recalled, until the matter is fixed.”

“You’re obviously right.”

He hugged the head of the robot, as Zoro sighed, “Pervert…”

He thought, “Still, the robots on the plane will be recalled, but I’m worried about our _other_ models.”

Sanji asked, “ _What_ other models?”

Frankie and Chopper went aboard the plane, as the doors closed.  They sat together, as the plane was about to prepare for the flight.

Meanwhile, Luffy and Usopp went aboard the S.S. Shanks, a huge white and red luxury cruise ship.  Luffy said, “Finally, a place we can call home…”

Usopp smiled, as he breathed, “Ah… Fresh sea air… at long last…”

Luffy said, “And who knew we’d get First Class tickets to this ship, FREE of charge?  Best part of this trip, NO robots fawning us!”

Usopp laughed, “Yeah, I know!  There may be rust issues, after all, but I mean, what are the odds of a robot on a ship?”

“Not bloody likely!”

They laughed, as the PA called from a black speaker, atop the deck, as a man in red hair and a beard was calling from the deck, holding a microphone with only his right arm, “Attention, all passengers, this is your captain, Shanks, speaking.  Welcome aboard the _S.S. Shanks_ ; hey, what a coincidence; and we know that it is clear sailing for a cruise of a lifetime; next stop – _Malaysia_.  So, sit back, relax, enjoy the scenic sunrise, sunset, and moonlight, and make yourselves at home.  For those who are familiar with the quirks, and for those who are new to _Snail Pacific’s_ Cruises, allow me to tell you more of our useful jobs.”

They headed to their rooms.  However, they were halted by two girls in pink sailor uniforms.  It was Namiko & Robiko, but with sailor hats.

Shanks continued, “We also like to point out that your room will feature a nice comfy bed and table, for you to enjoy your relaxation.  And those who are in First Class, you shall receive the same thing, but with very _exclusive_ privileges.  As said, those who accept First Class will enjoy the services of the luxury cruise’s exclusive and fully-automated hostesses, equipped with over 20 types of jobs on the ship.  You _will_ forgive me on the dress code, though.”

Robin said, “Welcome aboard.”

Nami smiled, “Thank you for choosing _S.S. Shanks,_ our sea cruiser in _Snail Pacific_.”

Two more Namikos and Robikos were at the galley, mopping the deck, while Namiko #3 was in the crow’s nest.  Robiko #4 was repairing the door latch that was rusted.

Shanks added, “And since this ship is huge, you’ll notice that we have about 7 pairs of our finest automated hostesses, all to help you out.”

Usopp gulped, “Urk! Did he say se-se-se-seven pairs?”

Luffy cringed, “14 robots… on First Class…”

Luffy and Usopp let out a scream, as they were frightened.  
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”

They were too late.  The ship had already set sail to Malaysia.

_The day is October 31 st – Halloween – and aboard a plane, ship, train, or anything that you want to go, chances are that you’ll be aboard on the trip of a lifetime.  For all four of our guest passengers, equal trips with equal accommodations.  Luffazlo and Usoppoli are on a luxury cruise, fully-automated and fully-functional.  And this trip isn’t to Hell… Let’s let them believe that.  
This is Snail Pacific, the advanced and fully-automated travel company, by land, by rail, by air, and by sea.  All accommodations are provided from… the “ **Tales of the Bizarre** ”._

Nami was by the door of the airplane, as she was closing it.  Frankie and Chopper were relaxing, as Nami went to First Class.  She turned around and beeped to the 4th wall, “Thank you for choosing _Snail Pacific_ , a subsidiary of the **_Tales of the Bizarre_**.  Happy Halloween…”

She then said in a demonic tone, “ _…wherever you are…_ ”

She then smiled, in a normal tone, “Goodbye.”

She then left to First Class.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading ALL my Tales of the Bizarre. More to come, real soon.
> 
> Good night out there... ... ...wherever you are...


End file.
